2003-05-29 - 7:10 a.m.
Gloomy, doomy... blow me.
My dear apprentice is right - sometimes mean people DO suck. But why let them inside your head to wreak havoc there? I ask myself that question a lot. As you may have gathered by now, I brood over injustices (you think?). I know that mostly it's a difference of opinion that causes strife, but why do people have to be so... *cutting* about it? There are some people that once they have decided that they are right, they will defend that position to the death, by any means neccessary. They will hack, slash, break bones, and mangle logic insisting that they are right and you are wrong. They're even worse if they have a little niggling sense that the other person may have a point, and instead of considering what that point might be, and whether a compromise can be reached, they attack even harder to prove to everyone that they are more right. No, I'm not speaking about anyone in particular. It's a phenomenon I've watched over and over again. When being right becomes more important than the issue that started the argument, you've automatically lost any credibility, I think. And when did winning an argument like that ever get you anything but a bunch of hurt feelings and collapsed plans? I brood over such things, because I see people shoot themselves in the foot over and over again in the quest to be "right". Right is what works to the greatest benefit, at least in the context of the game we play. And being mean because things aren't going your way is simply childish (though horribly common). I prefer another approach most of the time - I go with the flow, I'm flexible. If someone can change my mind with a reasonable argument, I'll let them, even if I was wedded to my idea. It seems silly to me to stick to my first way of thinking if there's ample reason and evidence that another method works. If it doesn't really hurt anyone and it isn't illegal, maybe I can accept it, even if my first impulse is to say no. This works for personal issues as well as things - people have many motivations for the things they do, but as BlueDuke says, sometimes it's important to have a sense of humour about the whole thing. Certainly nothing - *nothing* - in this hobby of ours is important enough to uphold that you make other people cry. I wonder why some people's first impulse is to be mean. Is it to make a point? To express disapproval? To make the other person change their mind? (Maybe they don't mean it, but their emotions get the better of them, or they feel embarrassed, and have to hit out to stop feeling that way.) I can tell you, it accomplishes none of the things you want it to. It just gives you a bad reputation, makes the other person dig in their heels harder, and makes everyone feel rotten and unhappy. Ah, well. Like I said yesterday, I try to leave these people to their own devices. Mean people may hurt my feelings for a bit, but they can't stop me, nor can they take away my birthday. The only power they have over me is the power *I* give them. (I'm still a big fan of making the hurt go away by putting my hands over my ears and singing Madonna's "Justify My Love" at the top of my lungs. At the very least, it startles the mean people and they start edging away rapidly.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* And what should I be doing while I'm writing this? Work, work, work - I'm going nuts, and I don't know if I have enough time to get everything done (so of course, I'm wasting time on this instead). That's probably why things like the subject above fill my brain. When I'm stressed, I have a charming habit of working myself up into a death spiral thinking about negative things - it is apparently my brain's way of making sure I have no stomach lining left (not to mention the twitch in my left eye). There's a term for it in psychiatry - it's called "ruminating". It means fretting about something so much that you basically *think* yourself sick. And I'm *really* good at it. In fact, I would like to put myself forward as Miss Rumination USA(by way of England). Yes, thank you, there were many fine candidates to choose from, but I'm definitely an expert at it, and my performance piece, "100 things I really, really loathe about myself and other people" always wows the judges. I'll be wearing the crown and the sash - the sash is black, and the tiara is shaped like a little black rain cloud - and opening a Haagen-Daz near you soon. Meanwhile, I'd better get to work. I can brood and write at the same time, I think. If not, it will be something else I can fret about.
Dorsal - Ventral
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