2004-11-30 - 8:14 a.m.
Wilting Wizards!
You know you want to see us in Victorian clothing... Lost Cause will be performing free at the Borders in Columbia Crossing December 16th (that's a Thursday) at 7pm. (We're also performing at 9am, but that's for the Chamber of Commerce Breakfast. The store will be open at 9am, though, so if you're bored, come on by.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sunday I worked on my current project some more, and put in a DVD to pass the time (I can't work without background noise, and a movie works better than a CD - Bob says I can't watch TV without doing at least two other things at the same time, and he's right). Unfortunately, I chose to put in my most recent DVD acquisition, Ralph Bakshi's "Wizards". Now, it's been a while (ten years at least) since I watched this movie. I know it's a cult "classic". I know it's supposed to be all deep and clever and anti-Disney. But oh, my God. It's the best anti-drug message I've ever seen. Specifically, the message is "Don't smoke pot, or you'll think crap like this is good. If you do too much pot, you'll start creating stuff like this, too". I mean, there's so much hippie-dippy nonsense in it that I don't know where to start. I think I lost it and started running up and down the apartment screaming after the scene where a fairy says "they won because they have machines and technology. We have only love". What does that even *mean*, anyway?! And they *so* didn't have only love - I saw swords and arrows, too. And shields and armor, and other stuff. They actually seem to have lost because they forgot the great principle of fighting: Never Bring A Knife To A Gun Fight. Oh, it's just so *odd* - the live action backgrounds that must have looked really avant-garde in the '70s, but now look hopelessly cheesy (name the Russian movie used in half the battle scenes!), for instance. The stilted dialogue (though the narrator has a beautiful voice, the drivel she's forced to read is excruciating). The naked chicks. Holy hell - I watched the interview with Ralph included on the DVD (and that's an hour of my life I'd like back, thankyewverymuch), and he said he considered "Wizards" to be a *kid's* movie. A kid's movie?! There are naked fairies in almost every shot, nipples and all. There's endless scenes of creatures being shot, blown up, and maimed. The movie even starts with the world being blown up! This is not a kid's movie. Showing this movie to a person under 15 could be considered a serious lapse in parenting sense. Besides, who wants to expose their kids to such appalling writing? Not to mention the dumb "political" bent to the whole thing - "nature is good, technology is bad" - try telling that to a ten-year-old with a Playstation. See if they laugh until they drool. Honestly, I kind of liked the movie - the land of Scortch looks like it might be fun on a Saturday night. I want me a pair of dancing skulls like Blackwolf has. And you know, if I was exposed to fairies and elves talking like they do in the movie, I'd be tempted to assasinate a few of them myself. Boobs and all. Feh - Bakshi calls himself "The Wizard of Animation" and disparages Disney in every third sentence. I will concede that "Fritz the Cat" was pretty good, but this man was also responsible for the utterly excruciating '70s "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings" - the ones with the really awful warbly singing and freaky orcs into sadomasochism ("Where there's a whip, there is a way"). Oh, it's just all so *dumb*. The painfully belaboured anti-war messages, the equation of advanced technology with Nazism, the idea that Nature is sweet and good, and if left alone long enough (three million years, so it's not like we'll be seeing any of it), magic will appear again (and be used to do stupid parlour tricks). Nature isn't good - it's pretty ugly. Flowers? Pollen allergies. Butterflies? Try biting flies. Storms, mudslides, tornadoes, blizzards, hurricanes, sunburn, welts, thorns, poison ivy, toadlickers... It's all rather difficult, really. Don't get me wrong - I love nature, but I also love the technology that allows me to go out into nature without getting eaten, poisoned, or sunburnt. And the technology that allows me to go inside and get away from nature for a while. All nature is not good. All technology is not bad. But honestly, what can you expect from a fantasy movie made in the '70s? *sigh* I'll probably end up watching it again for the little dancing skulls. I'm a sucker for cute little dancing skulls. And Blackwolf's wife is the prettiest of all the characters, even if she is a bit of a fruitbat. Dancing skulls. Yeah.
Dorsal - Ventral
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