2003-09-25 - 6:26 a.m.
Retro moment...
Ouch. I feel like I've been worked over by large men with no necks. Lidocaine aftereffects will do that to you. However, I can't complain, since it's starting to really feel like autumn again, and I love this time of year - I got to wear tights and a light sweater to work today. I am SO sick of wearing sandals, since every pair but one rub my feet funny. Anyway. Ouch. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Gen wrote yesterday about "metrosexuals", but pointed out that it doesn't apply to people like her sweetie, who like to dress well, but lack the ambiguous sexuality required of metrosexuality, plus he doesn't pay $100 or more for a haircut. (I happen to know this is true. I don't think Alan has paid more than $20 for a haircut, ever.) Well, what's true for her sweetie is true for mine, too. Bob isn't a slob, but he also doesn't use expensive haircare products (Unless I buy them for him; even then, he likes his usual stuff better most of the time).He dresses up to go out, but is perfectly comfortable in jeans. He knows what Prada is. (Okay, he knows Prada because of Meng. But he understands the allure of designer clothes.) So, I'd like to propose a new designation: The Retrosexual. The Retrosexual is not a cultural dinosaur, nor does he harbour secret misogynistic tendencies. He has good taste, and appreciates the finer things in life. He knows how and when to dress up, and he will never appear at a wedding in jeans and a t-shirt (which is not appropriate wedding attire, no matter how clean and well pressed). He doesn't mind shopping, and understands why finding the right pair of shoes is very important to his girlfriend/wife, and will be patient while she tries on a hundred pairs; though he will sometimes ask to meet her in ten minutes so he can look at another store, he will never blow spit bubbles of boredom. (At least not where she can see him.) You might be a retrosexual if: ***You think opening doors for a woman is the right thing to do, but do *not* think your courtesy implies the innate inability of women to do anything for themselves - you just think it's a nice thing to do for someone. ***You have different outfits for different occasions, and wear them accordingly (suit for weddings, jeans for hanging out and watching the game). ***Your clothes have a certain style and panache to them, but are not outrageously trendy. You dress with care to look good, not to shock or draw attention to yourself (except when you feel like it; but never when someone else is supposed to be the center of attention). ***You have a secret liking for hats (real hats, like fedoras, not baseball caps), and wish that they would come back in fashion. ***The 1940s and '50s hold a certain amount of appeal, not because of their oppressive morality, but because people dressed and behaved with a certain amount of style. ***You think martinis should be made with gin, not vodka, liqueurs, or froofy stuff. A "vodkatini" or cosmopolitan is not a martini. A Martini has an olive in it, not a cherry. You also know what a Gibson is, and can make one if asked to. ***You own a decent martini shaker, nice martini glasses, and keep a fully stocked bar. ***You appreciate the female form, the female mind, and consider the former to be perfection, and the latter to be at least equal to yours, if not better. (Within reason, of course.) ***You think cars haven't been really cool since the '60s. ***You own more than one pair of dress shoes, less than ten pairs of sneakers, and do not confuse the two when dressing up to go out. ***You make sure your outfit complements (but does not match) your significant others' when going out somewhere nice. ***You carry a real handkerchief, and use a fresh one every day. It is always clean if you hand it to a woman. There are other ways to know if you or someone you love is a retrosexual, but the ones listed above are pretty key. Above all, the retrosexual is a *gentleman* who honestly likes and respects women. (Most of the above items are drawn from observing Robert, who in addition to being a perfect husband, is one of the original retrosexuals - a gentleman with a great sense of humour, and a paragon of style and taste.)
Dorsal - Ventral
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