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2005-12-20 - 9:48 a.m.

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It's Christmas survey time, because I do actually have a real entry in my head, but I need to write it out before I type it here (unlike my usual writing m.o.).

1.Do you have a real or fake Christmas Tree?
Real - always real. When I was a child, my father would go out and get a tree a couple of days (maybe a week) before Christmas, and get a tree from the market. We'd set it up in a makeshift stand (I recall we usually used an old umbrella stand and lots of twine), and decorate it. For some reason, it was always vital to have a tree that was tall enough to hit the ceiling. In a nine-foot ceilinged room, that got fun.

These days, I buy the tree, decorate it, and decide what goes on it. It only occurred to me this year that maybe I should ask Bob what kind of decorating *he* wants. I'm a bad wife.

But the receipt was lost years ago, and he can't return me now. Good thing, that.

2.Do you put up Christmas lights on the exterior of your house?

We live in an apartment, so the only outside lights would have to be on the balcony. Occasionally I have attempted it, but there's nothing on that side of the building except trees, so it's not like anyone would see it.

The December issue of "Martha Stewart Living" had an article that showed how to make moulded snow luminaries that are lit with candles, and when the house is built, I am *so* going to do that. It looked really, really cool.

3.What's your favorite Christmas song/carol?

Oooh - that's a toughie. I like "I'll Be Home for Christmas", but only certain delicate recordings of it. I'm partial to all the sacred music of the season, but I think my favourite has to be "In the Bleak Midwinter" (the Gustav Holst version). There's a guitar version of it on the soundtrack for "A Winter's Tale" that is really lovely.

4.What do you like better, turkey or ham?

Bleurgh, Ham. Yuck. Actually, I'm not that wild about turkey, either. The year we had goose was pretty good, but I'm more a fan of the side dishes. If I had to choose a meat, it would be lamb or roast beef with redcurrant sauce, roasted potatoes, and Yorkshire pudding (it's a savoury dish, and substitutes for bread). The English also add little tiny sausages called chipolatas to the spread. Yum.

(I think I may have to go shopping for Christmas food...)

5.Do you open up any presents on Christmas Eve?

No. We got our stockings in the morning, but presents had to wait until after Christmas lunch. We didn't usually get started until about 4pm Christmas day, unless my brother got too incredibly whiny about presents and my mother gave in and we started earlier.

These days, I still don't feel right about opening anything before Christmas morning, but I have been known to break down and open pesents from the relatives the night before (the private present extravaganza between Bob and I is just for the two of us).

6.Have you ever been Christmas caroling?

Many times. It's more of a tradition in the UK than here, though. I think I only tried caroling here once. I prefer doing Christmas performances instead.

7.What was your most memorable Christmas gift(s) that you've received?

Well, the most memorable would be the six dead mice from the family cat, but that was more of a group present.

8.What's your favorite Christmas Movie?

The Charlie Brown Christmas Special, though I haven't seen it for years.

9.Have you ever built a real snowman?

Many times. Snow cats, snow women, snow fortifications, giant snowballs all over the park next to my mother's house one year. Snow angels, too.

10.Have you ever peeked into a present and found out what it was before Christmas?

No, but I did eat all the candy my mother had bought for stockings, once. Fortunately, she was so absent minded she assumed she'd forgotten about buying candy, so I got away with that one (sorry, Mum).

11.What is on the top of your Christmas Tree?

Star. It lights up, it's made of capiz shell, and was bought so I'd have a topper for the tree. I'm not big on angels.

12.Do you own a Santa hat?

Bob owns a black one that says "bah Humbug". I had a tiny minature one for a few years that I put on the Bob doll I made, but I think I've lost it.

13.When was the last time you had your picture taken with Santa Claus?

Never. I fear the big red man.

14.Have you started your Christmas Shopping yet?

Yeeeeesssss, but I'm really not sure what to get other people (Bob and I have a spending limit on our presents to each other). I have a couple of presents, but I'm kind of stuck this year.

15.Do you put candy canes on your Christmas Tree?

Yes. I try to get interesting flavours, since I eat most of them. I just like the way they look - my concession to American holidays, since we never put candy canes on our tree when I was a child - I think it's a German tradition, I don't know.

16.Who is the hardest person to buy for?

My Dad. He's done and seen everything, and has the souvenirs to prove it. Usually a long letter is the best present.

17.Who is the easiest person to buy for?

Bob. I like buying him stuff. eventually I'm going to run out of suppliers for the things he likes, so he's going to have to pick up a couple of new hobbies.

18.How old were you when you realized Santa was imaginary?

I was very young - I've had insomnia since I was a small child, so I had to pretend to be asleep when "Santa" came in the room ever since I can remember.

19.What does your Christmas morning routine consist of?

Coffee, decadent breakfast of some sort (usually something like cinnamon rolls), then presents. Stockings first, then the stuff under the tree. Bob's family is in town this year, so I don't know whether that will be changed for this year.

20.Egg nog?

Alcoholized, non-alcoholic, McDonald's flavoured shake, flavoured fudge... You name it, if it tastes like eggnog, I'll like it. Especially with lots of sweetened whipped cream.

21.What do you want for Christmas this year?

To be loved.

Dorsal - Ventral

Funnier than me: James Lileks

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all words copyright Laura Mellin 2000-2005


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