2005-07-20 - 8:57 a.m.
Uno, dos... where's my dinner?
Badger Sleep Balm rocks. I've slept through the night two nights in a row, and that *never* happens. I should write about the amazing Pizzeria Uno experience we had on Monday, which resulted in us paying only $10 (before tip, which I will explain) for two dinners and a glass of wine. Now me, I like the Uno. There are enough things to choose from to eat that aren't mainly bread, and even though their seasoned fries are flour dipped (crispy coating), they rule enough that I am willing to eat them a little bit. I made Bob get the fries, since I was being virtuous and got broccoli and "smashed cauliflower" as my sides. ...except that I never saw my sides; when the food came out, my chicken appeared to be stuffed with spinach and cheese (in retrospect, I should have taken it) instead of being covered with gorgonzola and tomatoes, so the waitstaff conferred, and said they'd switch. Gorgonzola is a fun word. I like typing it. Soon enough, the waiter who brought out the food came back and told me they'd served my chicken to another table, and they'd make me a new gorgonzola (hee!) chicken thingy. Meanwhile, I'm snaffling fries off Bob's plate, because he got his meal ten minutes ago. FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER, I have consumed half of Bob's fries, a substantial portion of his coleslaw, and a pickle, and despite promises of "any minute now", my meal has not appeared. During this time, I have been offered a free dessert, but I'm not big on brownies, and you know I haven't had the main part of my meal yet (though I've had a third of Bob's), and I am rapidly losing all appetite, so I refuse the manager's offer and ask for my meal to be comped. (Note I am still actually thinking that I will get my meal and be able to eat it in the restaurant. I am often overly optimistic in this fashion.) Manager comes back, and changes the bill, which now mysteriously has both the stuffed *and* the gorgonzola (gorgonzola!) chicken meals on it, plus he *hasn't* taken off the wine, even though he said he did, and the bill is actually *more* than we would have paid if we had eaten our meal the way we intended. It took us another ten minutes or so to get them sorted on changing it, and we wait for our check, since I have by this time realized that "to go" is really the only way I'm ever going to see this meal. No check. No check. No check. I started banging my head on the table, just for something to do. Mind you, the waiter's station is right behind us, and I have seen our waitress trying to fix things and the manager snapping at her several times. No check. We start to wonder if we're in the Twilight Zone, and we've been sentenced to wait for our check for all eternity. Then, the people at the booth behind me tap my shoulder and ask "Is this your check?". It was. They had also been having problems - their leftovers were thrown away instead of boxed up, and if you've ever eaten at the Uno's, you know that leftovers can be pretty substantial, certainly enough for another meal. (I think they got new plates made up for them. It was not a good night to be at Uno's.) *Finally* we have the check. With the right amount. I have my box of *sniff* gorgonzola dinner. Ten minutes more, and we were out of there. I witnessed the manager not doing too well, at least one waitress in tears, and apparently, a complete breakdown of communication in the kitchen. I left a tip. It wasn't really the waitress' fault, and the manager was kind of harsh on her when he didn't need to be. I also caught her at the bar, and told her it wasn't her fault. But we won't be going back there anytime real soon, unless we *want* a floor show with dinner. ...assuming dinner ever arrives.
Dorsal - Ventral
Funnier than me: James Lileks disclaimer!
all words copyright Laura Mellin 2000-2005
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