2005-10-12 - 11:20 a.m.
Someone Left The Cake Out In The Rain.
Crusades was *exceedingly* wet, but that wasn't the most disappointing thing about it. No, I can deal with wet weather - wool is good at shedding moisture. I don't mind wet feet, or even my splendid lunch plans being rained out. What I minded was the lack of medieval. Crusades had way too many people with HFN chairs. And plastic pop-up dayshades. And visible modernities. And too few people who seemed to care at *all*. I don't understand why people do that - I mean, they're supposed to be trying for at least the Victorian approximation of a medieval-oid event, so why the lack of period things? Even basic stuff wasn't in evidence. When I started playing, most people still used blue plastic tarps and modern tents because there really wasn't anything else available to the average person with a limited budget. We used director's chairs, and we covered our coolers with scraps of fabric. Despite the unavailability of any actual period-style furniture, everyone made a real effort to cover and hide modern things. These days, there's all sorts of stuff available at reasonable prices, and if you can't make it, you can almost certainly buy it. Wooden chests, and canvas tents/dayshades, nice tables and chairs, and all sorts of other goodies being made and/or sold by a wide range of people at affordable prices. We should be in hog heaven as far as period-oid items go - everyone can outfit themselves with at least the basics. And yet, people seem to be going the other way - HFN chairs without covers, coolers sitting out in the open, cans of soda drunk straight from the can... All these things would have garnered shocked looks and a request to cover/decant/fix things so that the place looked more vaguely medieval (insofar as one can make a gymnasium/cattle barn/rec center look medieval) in the old days (which weren't better, just more motivated). Crusades was *wrong*. It wasn't an event, not a medieval-style one. I looked around the hall at one point, and I grant you, it was crowded, and people had to do the best they could because of the rain, but it looked like some weird PTA-run craft show, not the SCA. People had set up willy-nilly, with their nylon chairs and their modern tote bags, and their coolers, and it looked sad, just lame and sad. I don't understand, I really don't. I don't expect people to be perfect, but I thought they could at least make a little tiny effort, you know? Nylon chairs are *horrible* (hence my name for them - Horrible Fucking Nylon chairs). Coolers and tote bags look *completely* modern. Soda cans and plastic water bottles look like what they are. All these things can be veiled with minimum - really minimum! - effort. Throw a piece of thrift store fabric over the cooler. Pour your damn drink into a period-looking mug. Invest a teeny bit of money and at least get a chair that looks vaguely like it's made from natural materials. I'm not thinking just of Crusades, though that's the most recent thing in my mind. In the past year, I've witnessed people walking around drinking out of soda cans, letting all their modern stuff sit out where everyone could see (and trip over) it, and setting up their HFN chairs around the field where everyone could admire them in all their nylony glory (and don't even get me started on the ones with footrests). It's not nazi-like to ask for these things to be covered, it's the bare minimum anyone should expect from the attendees of the event. Okay, your T-tunic is a cotton-polyester blend, and you're wearing sweatpants. It's no big deal; everyone starts somewhere. I just want you to go one more step (like people used to do) and cover your chair/ pour your soda into a cheap aluminum tankard/ cover the cooler that's holding your soda nice and ice-cold. I'll take care of the ultra-period stuff - I don't expect anyone else to match my level if they can't invest the time or the money - but at least make a *teeny* bit of effort, okay? The tote bag - buy a cheap basket from a craft/dollar/thrift store. The cooler - I can't say this enough: Get a piece of fabric, whether it's an old bedspread/throw/sheet or something cheap from your pal the thrift store, and COVER THE FUCKING THING. It's *really* cheap, and requires maybe two brain cells worth of thought. The chair - more fabric, if you insist on the HFN chair. There are fewer people out there with genuine back problems than there are people who simply haven't made the effort to find a better-looking chair, so don't give me that excuse. You bought it because it was cheap and it's comfortable. Fine. COVER IT. The drink - you have *no* excuse for wandering around with a can of soda in your hand, or leaving a plastic water bottle sitting in the cup holder of your HFN chair. Cups are so cheap, it's ridiculous. GET ONE AND USE IT. Seriously - I'm not asking for anything outrageous. If you have that hard a time even covering your modern items, then maybe you need a hobby that doesn't require an attempt at pre-1600 stuff. Nascar, say. Everyone uses those HFN chairs there. Yes, it makes me cranky. I'm not crushing your dream by asking that you make a tiny little effort. But if you don't want to make even that miniscule effort, then maybe you don't belong in this particular dream.
Dorsal - Ventral
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all words copyright Laura Mellin 2000-2005
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