2005-04-07 - 8:13 a.m.
Hippies! Hippies everywhere!
I am so tired, I was staggering as I walked from my car to my office (1/4 mile, five minutes when I'm really hoofing it). Four hours does not make a full night's sleep, even though I seem to function fine on five and an afternoon nap most days. I guess that hour makes all the difference. The concert was excellent; Ms. Amos is as good a performer live as she is on cd (better), and the playing two pianos at the same time thing was very cool, even if it did look like she was having sex with the piano bench. Hey, we all have our quirks. The audience was fascinating to me - and here's where we switch over to Laura's Amateur Psychology Hour, where I piss people off by making grand sweeping statements about them. Today, we offend Tori Amos fans. No, don't thank me; I'm just doing my job. Hate mail can be sent c/o my agent, Knuckles. I was as fascinated by the fans last night as I was by the performance, but in a different way. ...and channeling Eric Cartman: "Hippies! Everywhere! Damn Hippies!...". There was a lot of unwashed hair/jeans/ponchos (didn't those go out of fashion six months ago? If not, they should have), and a general Birkenstock-wearing air to the crowd. I felt rather out of place in my highly cute vintage outfit, but I was well assured of the fact that we were the three cutest people there. You know, Tori Amos cultivates a very specific stage persona that probably has very little to do with her real life - she's fun, she sings intimately revealing songs, she dresses in little diaphanous outfits - she basically looks and behaves like a rather wild fairy. Wings would not have looked out of place on her yesterday evening. As the show progressed, all the people in the Orchestra level stood up and leaned on the stage - neccessitating everyone on that level standing, which I think was a little unfair to the people in the back - this was not an arena venue, but a small old theater. At the end they were all reaching out to her like supplicants - I would have done exactly what she did, which was to wave, and stay waaaaay back from them all. Watching from my vantage point on the balcony (good seats), the people at the stage seemed to me to be trying to grab her and not let her go. I wonder what it is that makes people want to attach themselves to a performer like that - apparently, I lack the "hero-worship" gene (or else I outgrew it), so I don't understand the compulsion to touch the star, be near the star, get photographed with the star, become intimate with all the details of a star's private life. ...unlike a lot of the people there, who were talking about her like she was the second coming. (Though they weren't respectful enough of her to refrain from photographing her even though they were expressly asked not to - the flash is distracting, and she should have the right to control her image somewhat. The ushers were trying to catch people, but I don't know how successful they were.) I'm sorry, but I find that kind of creepy. Sure, she's a really great, talented performer, but does that justify creating a one-sided relationship where they feel closer to her than many of the people in their real lives? I think fans like that create a whole fantasy world around the performer - Tori Amos makes it easier because she creates a fantasy-like stage persona, so it's a short step to wanting to live in another world entirely. A Tori world where, I don't know, maybe everyone dances in a mossy woodland glade to Tori's music, and everyone is beautiful and fairy-like, and they can spend all their time with her. I'd want my own bed sooner or later, I think. Sleeping under a tree isn't much fun, and honestly, I'd miss my friends. Sooner or later, the fantasy bumps its nose into reality. I suppose for the die-hard fans, it's no fun when that happens, so they slip even deeper into it, and start following her around the country, and spending all their time in Tori Amos chat groups, and pretending that they're actually friends because she autographed a picture once. Mind you, some of them really *are* living in a fantasy world 24/7 - I'm thinking here of the girl who was walking up and down the line to get in, asking for a ticket, and explaining that she had no money to pay for it. Uh, right. Damn Hippies. I guess people create fantasy worlds around something because they want to feel special. Don't we all? We either can create that in our everyday lives, or we have to retreat into something else. I'm not free to throw stones here - if the SCA isn't one giant fantasy world where we're all "special", what is? Certainly, I'm special there - I gots me the awards to prove it, right? So, I guess I shouldn't mock the die-hard fans for their googly-eyed worship of a woman who's probably slightly afraid of many of them. After all, I listen to her music, and I enjoyed the show. I dress up on the weekends and pretend I'm from another time, and I don't even get paid for it. So, I'm not so different from the fans in many ways, but I *do* wash my hair more often. And I have cuter outfits. Really, ponchos are *so* last year. Invest in a nice flattering cocktail dress instead.
Dorsal - Ventral
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all words copyright Laura Mellin 2000-2005
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