2006-03-09 - 9:10 a.m.
Facing up to the problem
I love the urban legend site Snopes not just because it's a fun read and a great way to waste valuable time, but because it leads me in the most interesting directions. This, for instance. If you have any kids you think might be considering "meth addict" as a career choice, send them here, and tell them that Heroin Chic works better as a completely made-up fashion statement than an actual lifestyle. I'm a big proponent of legalizing medical marijuana, but even I draw the line at drugs that make you dig at your skin to get the crawling bugs out. There's the whole "large numbers of missing teeth" angle as well; in fact, I think more kids would stay off drugs if they saw how badly they would destroy their looks. Most teenagers (the most vulnerable group, natch - they're such followers at that age) are very concerned about their appearance, and the prospect of looking like you have a really bad case of acne (and in the case of one of the women on the site, making truly frightening hair choices) (you'll know which one when you see it) will do more to put kids off the hard stuff than all the sanctimonious statements made in Public Service Announcements over the past ten years. "Drugs - they make you look like Courtney Love" would be a powerful deterrent statement, I think. Actually, a video montage of all the z-list celebrities that behave like complete idiots in public - Tara Reid, Anna Nicole Smith, Flava Flav (though he could be faking it), Danny Bonaduce (who's doing it for the show), and the aforementioned Ms. Love (who's doing it just because she can) - with extra footage of the terrible plastic surgery they get because they're too high to know a good plastic surgeon from a bad one seems like just the ticket to convince all those image-conscious teens that drugs just might, possibly, be a teensy-weensy bit of a bad idea. Alcohol, too. Consume too much of it, and you end up flashing your nasty misshapen boobs at everyone. Here's another example of "toomuchboozeherearemynastyboobs-ism". Honestly, it makes you act stupid, get STDs and you'll be mocked on the internet until the end of time. ...And then you get fat. All excellent deterrents for teenagers, I think. Appearance is *much* more real to a sixteen-year-old than the prospect of jail time, inability to get a job, and failing to live past the ripe old age of twenty-five. This is your face. This is your face on drugs. Any questions?
Dorsal - Ventral
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