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2006-10-10 - 10:22 a.m.
Perfection-what? Not here, mate.
Comments added in parentheses:
the Perfectionist
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you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE.
"I do everything the right way"
Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals (and never seem to get there. Oh, the irony).
How to Get Along with Me
- Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work (or gently let me know when I've done enough. If no-one else wants to work, let me know, so I don't have to either).
- Acknowledge my achievements (actually, this kind of embarrasses me when you do it to my face. Not that I want people to stop, but that's why I get weird sometimes).
- I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am (you might have a hard time with this one. I can forgive others, but I'm *brutal* about my own flaws, and I have a very hard time forgiving myself).
- Tell me that you value my advice (Just don't blow me off rudely is all I ask. I won't usually give advice without some signal from you that you want it, and I really, really want the best for you, no matter who you are).
- Be fair and considerate, as I am (Uh, I'll settle for do your best - I'm not so rigid I'll hold people to a standard higher than the one I hold to myself).
- Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive (the sooner the better form the point you realize you did something [I have to add this, because it once took me ten years to apologize for offence I didn't realize I'd caused] - if you don't, the respect meter starts ticking downwards).
- Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first (Uh, better not, unless you're Bob - just leave me alone until I calm down, and I'll be fine in fifteen minutes or so. Before then, I might punch you, and I'd really rather not).
What I Like About Being a One
- being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal (more than anyone else, is my goal - I'm not ambitious, just psychotic).
- working hard to make the world a better place (I want everyone to achieve their potential).
- having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself (Um, well, not much. It depends on what you mean).
- being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do (This is *not* me - responsible? I try. Dedicated? Totally. Reasonable? What am I? Sane?).
- being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions (that usually involve manipulating people not as smart as me).
- being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people (I'm arrogant, too).
What's Hard About Being a One
- being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met (more me than others, but willful or continual bone-headedness or bad behaviour disappoints me).
- feeling burdened by too much responsibility (Self-inflicted).
- thinking that what I do is never good enough (Well, you got me there. But that's some seriously ancient baggage that has *nothing* to do with my current ability level, so there's not much anyone else can do about it).
- not being appreciated for what I do for people (only foolish people do not appreciate me. That's what I tell myself, anyway. I get *much* more appreciation than... uh... depreciation. Or something. Anyway, the warm fuzzies outnumber the cold nasties).
- being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am (Oh, now that's all me - and I realize that. Other people *must* be working as hard or harder than I do, or nothing would ever happen. This is one of the lessons you learn when your physical abilities become more restricted).
- obsessing about what I did or what I should do (or have done, or did to other people, or should have done better, or shouldn't have done at all, or didn't live up to my standards for my behaviour... Bob calls it "death-spiral thinking", and I am a Jedi Master at it).
- being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously (sometimes. Sometimes, it all comes together, and is shiningly perfect, mostly because I have wonderful, wonderful friends, whom I love very, very much, much more than I ever show).
Ones as Children Often
- criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others (or withdraw from society completely and shut down into a complete dream world. I spent more time in my head than interacting with others).
- refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect (No, I never did that. Sometimes I didn't continue if it was too hard, but the only thing that ever stopped me was physical fear. Everything else I did because I liked it, not because I was good at it. You should have seen me dance. Eek).
- focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers (Never seemed to achieve them, though, so by age 11 I opted out, and became a slacker in schoolwork - not because I couldn't do it, but because I didn't see the point. It seemed that no matter how well I did, I would be told I could do better. I'm sure this wasn't really the case, but it felt that way at the time).
- are very responsible; may assume the role of parent (I had a lot of "take your sister with you" time, and tried very very hard to be good - right up until I became a teenager. At that point, it got ugly).
- hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry") (See teenager comments above. I was *really* angry as a child, and I still have a *very* hard time coping with anger because it wasn't something I was ever supposed to show. Events in my life that have not been dealt with still surface and warp my ability to cope at times).
Ones as Parents
- teach their children responsibility and strong moral values
- are consistent and fair
- discipline firmly (uh, yeah. That, or they'd be terrified of me. Good thing I don't have any, huh?).
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on Ok Cupid |
I had to read all the answers before I found the closest thing to myself. It still isn't right, but it's closer than the others. I have other personality facets, and at times, I have been all the personalities in the test (though as a child, this describes me closest, but the approval I desperately needed never seemed to come, and I became stranger and angrier at the world as a result than this test would suggest). I have added comments where I thought it would help.
Dorsal - Ventral
Funnier than me: James Lileks disclaimer!
all words copyright Laura Mellin 2000-2005
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